Sunday, January 29, 2006

Planet of the Apes.

The Asia-Pacific Partnership for Clean Development is a US-backed alternative to the Kyoto Protocol.

If you scrape away all the fine-sounding political verbiage, its essence can be summed up thus:

It is quite clear that, due to their special interest in Bananas, the Monkeys [obsolete link sorry] are the natural and obvious custodians of the Banana Plantation. Of course the Monkeys see that preserving the Banana Plantation is, not only in everyone elses best interests, but in their own interests also. The Monkeys, therefore, undertake not to despoil the Banana Plantation any more than is necessary to further the more immediate interests of the Monkeys, starting just as soon as they can come up with a way of securing more Bananas than certain other Monkeys without despoiling said Banana Plantation. Further, the Monkeys will start their programme of non-despoilment very soon. Just as soon as they feel like it, in fact. No promises, though. And absolutely no legislation that might restrict any particular Monkey's access to any part of the Plantation.


The Future is Bright, ladies and gentlemen.

1 comment:

michael the tubthumper said...

nicely put.

i had this similar thing in a post a while ago...

POLITICIAN SPEAK TRANSLATED - PART 1
Pre-emptive Strike - this is the new term for attacking people who haven't touched you yet. To put it in a more social setting it is equivalent to going up to a man in the pub and punching him just in case he happens to spill your pint later on.